It happened during our second pregnancy, waiting for Aran, that we wanted to have things more controlled than with the first one and make clear, before going to give birth to the hospital, what our position was and what our wishes for that birth were.
We wrote a birth plan that we presented to the midwife, we reviewed it with her, and we were somewhat surprised by her response to our decision not to use epidural anesthesia, telling us that it seemed good, but that "If you lose control during childbirth, we'll put it on you".
If I lose control?
We were surprised, as I say, so we asked what exactly he meant, because of course, you can lose control in many ways. One can decide to tear off the monitor straps and start hitting the serum stick with everyone who catches in front of them, for which there is no need for the epidural, but the police, or one can start yelling at everyone else, or start panting, singing or screaming, and from the outside all of this can be seen as a loss of control without having anything to do with one thing.
Logically, he failed to define much what he meant, because it is not that there is a protocol for the loss of control of pregnant women, but he suggested something like "if you scream a lot and annoy or scare other pregnant women".
It is normal to give birth without anesthesia and without screaming
Then we stay a little touched, but without losing hope, because of course, I say that the logical thing, if a woman is not given the epidural, is that she carries the contractions as best she can, being able to scream, to get up , that he moves everywhere looking for a more comfortable posture, that he takes off his clothes if it bothers him (yes, Miriam decided in her third pregnancy to take off all her clothes in the middle of the hall because she was about to give birth to everything), Let him sing, let him make moans,… he can do a thousand things that would seem weird, weird, if any woman did it in the middle of the street but that they can be considered tremendously normal if you are giving birth.
That the odd thing would be, in my opinion, to have a woman dilating without anesthesia there sitting on the bed (or lying down) smiling at the midwives and controlling the contractions only with breathing and with the only help of her partner's hand to squeeze her , as in the movies, there, with silencer. No, this is not a woman giving birth, this is a woman who is struggling not to lose control.
But aren't they supposed to lose it?
And if a woman is consciously trying not to lose control so that they don't put her epidural, enduring silently what she would have better screaming, lying down because it seems that there annoys others less, because the last thing she wants is for someone to come to say that "do not shout so much, woman, which is not so much", or "you are not collaborating too much, it helps a little or this ends in caesarean section", it is very possible that everything ends precisely as you want to avoid: with a birth that stops, with the epidural to be able to put oxytocin and who knows, with a caesarean section because the child does bradycardia (and here I just told you about our first birth).
I mean, that what should happen is precisely that the mother loses control. Not in the plan "I eat the one in front of me", but in the plan "I do what my body asks me", walking, shouting, moaning, sitting in a corner, getting on all fours, crouching, walking or leaning on the window while I howl to the beyond, or whatever.
That what they call entering the planet childbirth, which is nothing other than letting yourself be carried away by the changes of the body, by the endorphins that are segregated so that it hurts less and for what at each moment needs one, disconnecting the rational part, stop thinking about what's going on around so that the instincts appear, to focus on the body and what happens to it so that everything goes better.
What happened in the end?
If you wonder what happened at the end with Aran, tell them that nothing planned, or anything that the midwife told us ... wanted to leave in week 34 and managed to stop the delivery one week. A whole week of painful contractions every 5 to 10 minutes that were not effective by the medication, with a delivery in which she logically could no longer (a week sleeping at 10-minute intervals, screaming at a night pad for not wake up Jon in each contraction). A week, as I say, we went to the hospital, and in the case of premature birth, the birth plan stayed at home.
