Time flies by and my little Aran, who was born weighing two kilos stripped now three and a half years ago has started school these days. When we went with Jon, from now six years, to school for the first time, we thought that he would take him badly, that he would cry a lot, that he would not accept the separation and showed us how wrong we were when we cried only the first day when we left.
Now that we were going with Aran, who has a more outgoing character, we thought he wouldn't cry, that it would be great, and he also showed us how wrong we were when we cried the first few days of entering school. This made us have to strive (now I will tell you how) to get him to be happy, efforts that have wanted to limit a little in school, but that has led me to ask: “Do I leave you happy or crying?“
Three days of adaptation
The adaptation period has consisted of going three days for an hour and a half. The first day went well, happy, like most. He left at the hour and a half crying because at one point he needed us and, seeing that we weren't, he called us unsuccessfully.
The second day also went well and also went well, making us think that the adaptation was being a success. However, on the third day he said that “this going to school doesn't make me so funny anymore” and when he wanted to leave he started to cry. It was not a crying with the whole body, of that tantrum type, but a mournful crying, of that one of "I cry without moving", tears that flowed from grief, still he, in the same position that I had left him, looking at the wall , and I couldn't leave it that way. I didn't want to leave it that way.
Many parents left. Many left the children "there you manage", but I was not able to do that to my son (soft father, usually the definition), so we stayed in the classroom the teacher, about nine children counting on my son and me. They cried three or four more or less disconsolately and he made not too fruitful attempts to calm them with games. I did the same with mine, taking toys and making up stories.
Soon children began to approach to hear my story and for a moment I felt bad. The professor had decided that writing the children's names on the board was a good way to calm them down and they apparently decided that what that dad did with the toys seemed more interesting.
I stayed a few more minutes until I could leave my son calmer and finally said goodbye with a "in a while we are here with you again". He cried a little when I left, but he stayed better than many children who were still crying.
After the weekend, return to the load
Then came the weekend, which cut the story a bit, and then came Monday. I went back to class with him and the tears appeared again, those that break your heart, those that make you go home thinking “What is the point of a child crying to the place where he is supposed to grow as a person ? ”, Those that make you say that“ the school would have to start at age eight ”.
That day the TEI (Technician in Early Childhood Education) approached and lent me a hand, calming Aran, leaving them to draw a picture and hugging him. Then at noon he indicated that he had spent the morning very well.
Something similar happened on Tuesday, but I quickly found my ally in a car park with cars. I got him interested in the subject and he stayed playing with cars, being able to go before class.
Then Wednesday arrived, something new had to be invented because it was not a plan to throw cars and toys every day and I went back to the class with him (like Pedro for his house and without many more parents doing it) this time with the prior notice of "I think they are waiting for you". I told him that it seemed to me, before entering, that the children were already looking for him. Then I entered with him, almost like Torrente upon entering the bar loaded with bills saying “Let the party begin, that Torrente has arrived!”, announcing to the children with emotion that Aran had arrived, who was already here and could already play with him.
The children looked at me with the face of "what is this flipao talking about ...", but I followed and Aran smiled, felt special, important and willing to play with the children. Some approached and started playing with him. It was a matter of one or two minutes, I said goodbye to him, I made an OK gesture to the professor and then he asked me that "tomorrow you leave him at the door and that's it, okay?"
"Will I leave you happy or crying?"
The comment struck me a little because I had managed, for several days, that my son was happy and that, bouncing, will stay playing with other children who stopped crying by joining our private party. Then I wondered what was the problem with it, if it left the child alone.
If I were a teacher and the parents were able to leave all the children in five minutes, I would kiss their feet. Although on the other hand I understand that Aran has been going to school for a week, that every day is going better and that in the same way that children are adapting to the space and the teacher, he is also adapting to them and already knows them better .
Yesterday, I listened to him, I said goodbye at the door. No need to enter because it was calmer. In fact, on Wednesday afternoon he told me that "I don't cry anymore, because I'm not afraid of school anymore." I was glad for him. It would have happened badly if I kept crying and I couldn't get in, but luckily it wasn't.
In any case, I have to to thank the teacher for allowing me the license to "sneak" every day in class with my son and work the farewell. Now he is happy and I am much calmer. Another teacher (or teacher) would not have let me in on the first day, so, although it is sad to say so, I am privileged to have made an adaptation for a week, entering a few minutes each morning with my son.
I say sad, because I repeat, if I were a teacher (sometimes I feel like studying the career to exercise), in my class parents would be welcome until they wanted to leave. Each child has their rhythm, they have only three years of life (come on, that three years ago did not even exist) and we can not pretend that they grow up in two days at once and see the school as something positive when they would prefer to have much more freedom, freedom They surely need more than many of the things they can learn at school.
