Fadu - Já is a 20-minute Icelandic short film that is part of a more ambitious project that in Iceland worked to raise awareness about the sexual violence against children, according to provisions of the Council of Europe against sexual exploitation and abuse. Fadu - Já received funding and has served to address a difficult issue to address among young people (it has been projected in primary and secondary schools), and to accept (at least in our country) among adults.
I was very happy when I came to him from one of the old children; I was glad because we talked a lot (not what we should perhaps) about sexual abuse of children by adults, sexuality, sexual education, but how do we educate children who have first contact with sex in pornography through pornography? ? Do youhow will we make them know how to differentiate between sexuality and violence?
I talk about pornography and how it can distort the ideas that children have about sexuality (which is not the same as talking about child pornography), and I think "maybe someone thinks I'm a prude." But it is not so because although I understand that it is a business, and that many of its workers have the same rights as others exercising functions in another sector; You should also recognize which public consumer of pornography, and the messages that are sent knowing that many of the users are under 15 or 16 years old.
Will you tell me that the responsibility for what they see belongs to the parents, and depending on the age in part yes, of course, because if one day my son (almost 11) told me that he has seen a porn video (it is supposed to happen and told) in a friend's house, my responsibility would be more well to establish my value judgment, talk to the other parents and how I have been doing, continue to naturally address the issue when it comes out at home ... Since I have nothing to do with the fact that I have seen it. That imagining that the friend is their age and is about curiosity, if they are with someone older than has encouraged them, is another issue, and we are already entering one of the forms of sexual abuse.
But yes, ultimately, the responsibility of not seeing (or yes) at home, is ours
I return to Fadu - Já: above all he intends dismantle misconceptions about sex and foster respect in relationships. I remember when I was 17 years old and my mother repeated to me about 52 times a year: “with the boys you have to be respected,” the message seemed so outdated, but it is not, maybe they should change the forms, but not what It is said that. And not only the girls, also the boys: because in a sexual relationship, those involved should be able to talk about their tastes and the desire (or not) they have to participate.
What are some wrong ideas?
As I say the video is an Icelandic production, and I like how its protagonists treat it, it is true that they are already great (maybe between 18 and 22 years old), but it is appreciated that speak so openly. I don't have to say anything about the translation, since I don't know Icelandic, it seems in turn reduced from English subtitles, and some expressions seem not to be well built, but in general I think it conveys the message well.
They tell us that as sex is represented in pornographic films, it has little to do with a reality in which people have normal and imperfect bodies, in which there is not always an orgasm, in which sometimes they do not feel like it and in which there is passion but it is not known very well how or where to caress.
Sex is a basic need and is treated like the others: eating / drinking, sleeping, going to the toilet, there is a pretty blunt scene in which the girl literally forces her boyfriend to swallow part of her hamburger. Everyone knows how to regulate their needs, if another forces us we will talk about violence and not regulation
"If you are not ready for a different sex than in the cinema (movies of any kind), you are not ready to make love," I love that phrase, and I think it is a good start to start demystifying porn, and show young people that there are many paths to their sexuality, but they should precisely rule out feeling obligated or compelling. I would like to find the time for my children to know that in their future emotional relationships, they have the right to say “will you let me think about it”? when they are proposed sexual intercourse.
Defining the own and foreign limits
The sexual violence It is another relevant aspect of this video, because it is easier for the rape to be executed by someone known than by a criminal who tackles in the middle of the street. If each one has clear its limits and those of the other person there is no problem. There is when it is confused with a desire, or when the "I don't feel like it" is ignored, and here there is no excuse that is worth it (that is, no one has the right to relate the victim's dress, or his possible drunkenness with an alleged 'right 'of the aggressor).
The document also points to the fact that sometimes video clips are closer to pornographic manifestations than to artistic expression, it is an example of inadequate stimuli that children receive daily. In return it would be good to perceive sex as a form of fantastic relationship and communication, which is also a source of pleasure, and if it is respected, as happens to one of the participating boys, they want to repeat ... in the same conditions.
If "pornification" has grown or in our society (as stated) is something I cannot say, but one of the reasons why children should not approach porn as a first contact with sex, is precisely to avoid all these wrong ideas, and prevent misunderstandings in the future.
By the way, Fadu Já means "to say yes," as a condition "sine qua non" to achieve healthy and satisfying relationships for all.
